Fire in the Hole!

Wow. That's the best word I have to describe the past couple of days. It's been rather eventful. I posted some ambiguous comments on facebook about my kitchen fire, so I thought I should go into more detail here.

Yesterday Mckenna and I were making cookies in the kitchen. I had a candle that had burned down to the bottom of the jar, but had left plenty of wax on the sides. I took the wick and the little metal wick holder out of the jar and put the jar in the microwave to melt the wax down. I just assumed that candle jars can handle microwave heat, since they're meant to handle hot candle heat. Mistake #1.

It had been in the microwave for a little while(2 minutes?) when Mckenna said, "MOM! FIRE!" I looked in the microwave and sure enough, there was a fire. The glass had broken, wax had spilled all over and was now flaming. I opened the microwave. Mistake #2.

The flames got bigger. I instinctively blew on the flames. Nothing happened. I grabbed the sink sprayer to spray the fire with water. I then hesitated because you're not supposed to put water on kitchen fires. Then I remembered that that rule is for grease fires. This didn't seem to fall into that category so I sprayed the fire with the water. BIG mistake #3.

The flames shot to the ceiling immediately. I told Mckenna to go outside. For about half a second I had the thought that I should grab the boys, call 911 and go outside. Then the smart Megan kicked the already so stupid Megan and grabbed the fire extinguisher from under the sink. The stupid Megan thought she should take the time to read the directions on the fire extinguisher. The smart Megan pulled the pin, aimed at the microwave and pulled the trigger. Fire extinguished. I did it again just to ensure there was no more flamage.

Then the fire alarms went off and I realized my ENTIRE downstairs was covered in smoke. I ran through the house, unplugging fire alarms, turning fans on, opening windows, and closing the upstairs bedroom doors. By the time I went in the backyard to check on Mckenna my hands were shaking like crazy. Luckily she wasn't too freaked out, like I was. I told her she did the right thing by telling me there was a fire, but then she needed to "get low and go." So we talked about that for a while which kind of helped me to calm down.

So since that happened, I've dropped my phone in my smoothie(totally dead), David peed his pants at the gym(emptied the WHOLE bladder), Malachi busted out of the house and was about to run in the street when Mckenna grabbed him, my period with all its lovely cramping started, and the 3 ibuprofen I took out were left on Malachi's changing table when I went to the gym. And then, to make myself feel better, I said something really nasty to my friend's ex husband on facebook. I think I need a vacation... Do you think I could find a hotel with a chocolate hot tub?